


An Accidnet (Day 3)

by famgrill_sinner



Series: Valentines Day (Taz) [3]
Category: TAZ - Fandom, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Barry and Davenport get slammed, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, I made this world, I'll come back to this place, M/M, Mild Racism, Molestation, Not racist just stereotyping, Rushed, Some ncps thrown about, Taakos chill, Valentine oneshots, haha wHoops, sorta??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 07:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13565826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/famgrill_sinner/pseuds/famgrill_sinner
Summary: Day 3 of Valentine Oneshots: accdental kiss-New world, new challange, same strong alochol.ORBarry and Davenport get slammee and Barry kisses Taako thinking he was Lup.





	An Accidnet (Day 3)

It was a couple of cycles after the beach world. Merle loved it there because he was a beach dwarf. Which was an excuse to act like he knew everything about the ocean when Lucretia did. She was a bookworm about anything she could get her hands on. Not to mention that beautiful painting she had made over the course of the year. It was perfect.

Now a new cycle, new people (hopefully could speak a language they knew), new animals, and new foods. Of course, that meant Davenport and Barry had to go down and scourange the cities for the light. Well, they could always do that before they found the light of creation. They weren’t in a rush.

It was day time, sun was up, but the world had a dark tint to it. As if you put on a pair of sunglasses. Wasn’t from smog or population. That’s just how it was they guessed. Every night at midnight there was cheers and then for the first four hours in the morning, silence. They still needed to check it out.

The day had sped by and before Barry knew it, it was time to go to the surface. The human had his wand and Davenport could cast a distraction if he chose too. Hopefully they wouldn't have to use that. Just a peaceful conversation between whatever was down there.

The trip to the surface was easy enough. Davenport had left instructions on how to fly the Starblaster if he didn’t come back. You could never be too careful when it came to new worlds. Barry fiddled with the patch on his robe and looked at the shorter man as they walked down the street. This was always the most nerve racking experience.

“Sun sure does set fast here, doesn’t it?” Barry said with a small laugh. It was true. There seemed to be more night hours than anything else. Maybe it was just for a season? Daylight savings? Hard to tell without information.

“We should have left earlier.” Davenport sighed with a laugh of his own. The short man kept walking down the street and Barry trailed behind. It felt like people were watching him and Davenport. Everyone would if two strangers came down from the sky. A natural reaction. But when he glanced around nobody was looking.

“Hol it right there strangers!” Someone yelled from behind them with a loaded pistol in his hand. A bottle of something in the other. Barry just assumed it was alcohol of some sort. The man from a distance was rather short. Shorter than Davenport. Close to the height of a halfling. Maybe he was a halfling after all.

“Willie wait! Look at the tall fella.” Another voice called out rushing into the street with a bottle in his hand as well. “Ain’t he the one?”

“Well I’ll be my brothers uncle. He sure is!” Willie lowered the gun and took a swig from the bottle he had in his hand. “Names Willie. I be the sheriff in these parts. This fella is Doc.” Willie was rather, beat up. A farmers tan and busted overalls, large sun hat, cigarette in his mouth and barefoot. Doc at least had shoes, jeans and a shirt in tack over his dark complexion.

“Might I ask what that means?” Davenport asked taking a step closer towards Barry. Ready to fight them off if they got too close. That would be fatal mistake if they tried to kill Barry.

“You a short fella Ginger-” Davenport cut Willie off.

“I have a name it’s Davenp-” Willie cut him off shooting a bullet straight into the air. A few moments passed and a duck fell from the sky. The buildings roared joy with people swarming the windows.

“Ginger you mustn't question me. Tall boy, there's been rumors bout you comin’ to these parts. Come on! I’ll show y’all round. Get you a round.” Willie trotted up to them.

“One round! Willie you cheap! Get em at least four!” Doc called out running up behind him. The buildings erupted with laughter and cheering. The pieces slowly clicked together for Barry and Davenport at the same time.

This was a town (maybe a world) full of redneck alcoholics.

They had to leave. Now. Any other plain of reality would be better than this.

Before Barry and Davenport knew it, they were doing shots. They couldn’t remember where the simplest buildings were. It was a blur. Davenport’s stone of farspeech started to ring and he answered it with a slurred voice.

“Hey man you gotta come back here.” It was Taako. Must have been waiting a good couple of hours for a single word from their captain.

“Shh. Shh. Barry. We gotta, we uh, we gotta go.” Davenport mumbled stumbling off of the stool and putting the stone back in his pocket. Barry, well, wasn’t a good drinker. Couldn’t keep it down and got tispy from anything that was straight up alcohol. He could manage wine in small amounts but couldn’t take a full bottle like Lucretia and Taako.

“You right Ginger.” Barry giggled getting off his stool. Taako said he would pick them up with a spell. One Barry couldn’t remember.

“That’s not my name you goof.” Davenport said gently punching Barry's knee. The human laughed at him again. “What is my name.” They both busted out laughing as they walked out of the bar. What Barry did remember was sloopy sexual activities ends well and he had a girlfriend.

Taako casted the spell and before they could blink an eye, they were back on the Starblaster. Merle rushed over to the drunken Davenport and laughed. He’d never seen Davenport drunk before. This could be fun to mess with. His curly hair was snarled and even more out of control than it is normally. The short men walked out of the room which left Taako and Barry.

The elf placed the wand back into his belt which had a section just for his wand. Next thing he knew, Taako was pressed against the wall and was getting kissed. At first he thought it was Magnus. Then he opened his eyes and saw it was Barry. His face was flushed and he was clearly drunk.

“Lup.” Barry moaned out kissing Taakos neck. Oh. That was it. The twins were practically identical after all. Barry's blurred vision must have been confusing him. Not that it mattered. Taako would brush it off as a drunken mistake. Everyone had one. Or more than one. Depending on who you were.

He would have brushed it off. Until Barry grabbed the wizards crotch. That’s where he drew the line. He pulled out his wand and casted the only thing he knew would knock him back. Magic missile. Taako had to get him off. Lock him in the main room or something so he’d be far away from the human. It wasn’t his fault and Taako knew that. It still, bothered him.

-

The next morning was far more awkward than they wanted. Davenport was embarrassed by the whole thing. But nothing like what Barry was doing. He was dating Lup. He mistook Taako for his girlfriend. There’s no way she’d live it down. But it would work itself out hopefully.

Taako said no hard feelings and Barry promised not to drink too much again.

‘The one’ simply referred to Barry being tall and reaching higher shelves without a ladder of climbing them. Everyone other than Davenport and Merle were the chosen ones. But that was fine. Taako and Barry decided never to speak about it again.

If it was to happen again, and if Taako was just as drunk as Barry, then there shouldn’t be a problem right? This year would end in kidney failure. They’d be fine. As long as Barry could tell the difference between the Tacco Twins.

**Author's Note:**

> Hngh sorry this was bad?? I wanna go into this drunken-hillbilly-gun world in a later fic (which I mentioned).


End file.
